An arranged marriage is
a marriage in which neither the bride nor the groom has any official say over
the selection of their future spouses. However, in an arranged marriage,
both parties give full consent to the marriage. Arranged marriages have been a
successful traditional aspect of family life in many cultures for many
years.Arranged marriages have been part of many cultures for thousands of
years, primarily born out of the desire and/or need for a financial, political
or property-based partnership. As America expanded multi-culturally, this
custom filtered through as certain ethnic groups sought to preserve cultural
and class traditions. Cultural and family traditions have shaped views on
romantic love and marriage. The purpose of assisted marriage or romantic marriage
is not simply to preserve cultural identity, but more pointedly to maintain
class, religious and regional identities in a place where they might easily be
diffused.
Arranged marriage takes
a lot of the guesswork out of picking a partner, relieves the stress of having
too many choices, and puts your future in the hands of those whose experience
you may trust more than your own. Looking at debates of whether arranged
marriages are right, many women seem to be completely miserable under such a
negotiation. Many problems that arise are bigamists that just want another wife
to add to the bunch, domestic abuse within the home, or just a clashing of
personalities due to not actually knowing one another until the two are to be
wed.
Romantic love marriages
are sometimes needed for a successful
marriage. Sometimes when we love a person it's hard for us
to get over. Although the experience of romantic love is universal, the forces
shaping how couples come to bond vary widely across cultures. In many Middle
Eastern and Asian countries, marriages are arranged by parents or local
religious figures. Within the United States, individuals from cultures in which
marriages traditionally are arranged often blend American and their own
cultural practices. For example, first generation Americans have shifted away
from arranged marriages to what can be described as "assisted
marriages." In assisted marriages, parents "screen potential
nominees" for caste, lineage, and a host of other factors, but they allow
the partners to make the final decision regarding suitability. This model helps
preserve traditional class, religious, and regional identities, while at the
same time providing potential spouses greater freedom of choice than they might
have outside the United States.
One factor that one can
take into consideration immediately when looking at this topic is that
societies in which arranged marriages continue to be acceptable could also have
very different views on the acceptability of divorce. Also, there might be less
freedom for people involved in such arrangements to express satisfaction or
dissatisfaction. Women, in particular, may be tied by fear of the consequences
if they express dissatisfaction. I think also it depends very much on the
educational and cultural level of the families and on the society in which they
live. An arranged marriage that works
more on a "blind date" system, with the young people having the final
say on acceptability is significantly different from the case of a forced
marriage against somebody's (usually the woman's) will, as will an arrangement
organized for two consenting adults versus and arrangement in which one or both
partners is still a child.
There seems to be
arguments for and against arranged marriages. Good logical decisions are made
in arranged marriages but they can lack the love that can be in a ‘love
marriages'. Therefore it comes down to a personal opinion. Some do not have a
choice because they choose to follow the religion they were brought up in but
for Westerners they have choice whether to go down one path or the other. If it
were possible to take the best of both ideas you may come up with a procedure
that may benefit more of the people most of the time. However, it is not fair
to say arranged marriages are cruel and old-fashioned if you are talking
generally as it depends how the situation is handled.
